Managing Low Self-Worth

I have struggled with low self-worth for most of my life. Over the years, I have tried so many things to feel better about myself but those feelings won’t permanently go away. Sometimes it feels that low self-worth is something I just have to live with.

One thing I have learned from living with fibromyalgia, IBS, depression, and anxiety is that, for some things, the best we can hope for is just to manage it. And the tools I use for dealing with these conditions also apply to low self-worth.

To manage my chronic illnesses and low self-worth, I practice A LOT of self-compassion and self-care. I prioritize cultivating happiness and following my heart. I pause throughout the day to acknowledge experiences and people that I am thankful for. And list all the things I’m grateful for before sleep.

When I feel good about myself and happy, I don’t compare myself to others. I don’t care what others think of me. I don’t feel worthless. I’m just mindfully enjoying life in the moment.

I feel good about myself when I prioritize my happiness. This can be done in small or significant ways like wearing dresses, writing, and creating in Canva. I enjoy being productive; writing blog posts and working on my book; and creating visually pleasing posts, workbooks, and journals.

You can feel good about yourself too. By practicing self-care and self-compassion and building a life of happiness and meaning, you will feel better and be happy despite low self-worth.

Managing low self-worth builds resilience. It increases adaptability and flexibility. It creates a positive feedback loop where you feel good for taking action and feel better as a result of those actions. One day, you may even find that you are rarely bothered by feelings of low self-worth.

Following are some questions and resources to get you started on this journey.

Reflection

Before we move on to tools and resources, grab your journal or at least pause to consider the following questions. If you can get to the root of your low self-worth, you might be able to raise it through reframing, self-talk, or therapy.

What makes you happy? It can be aspects of yourself, what you do, what you have, particular people, or anything really. It can be large – like me wanting to finish my book and get it published – or something small such as sitting in the sunshine for a few minutes. Sometimes happiness is the result of doing one small thing, one after the other.

What are you grateful for?

What self-care practices do you engage in? Are they sufficient to fuel your body and mind? To fill your soul and spirit?

What does your heart want that you haven’t said yes to or haven’t been able to achieve?

Where does your low self-worth come from?

Was there a time you can remember when you didn’t have those feelings?

What would you feel like, what would your life look like, if you didn’t experience low self-worth?

What are some ways you could manage your self-worth? Don’t put pressure on yourself to have the answer. Just sit with the question for a while. Mull it over in your mind while doing other things. Some answers come right away when we ask and others take time.

Resources

Following are tips and tools that helped me. If you are not sure how to manage low self-worth, pick one or more of the following to try.

Self-Care

• The Wheel of Life Assessment – this will help you discover what areas to focus on first.
• Starting Self-Care – offers great tips for those just getting started.
• Creating Balance – for those who want to step up their self-care and address other areas of life.
• Pretty Spiritual Podcast – You’ll find a recording for just about any physical, spiritual, mental/emotional or social self-care need. These are also available in the Insight Timer app.

Self-Compassion

• Self-Compassion Exercises – From the Self-Compassion Institute
• Loving Kindness: Self-Compassion – a guided meditation by Kristin Neff
• Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself – by Kristin Neff
• Volunteer – Feeling/giving compassion to others is a great way to learn what compassion feels like. Then you can give that to yourself. Volunteering fosters compassion and gratitude for what you have.

Cultivating Happiness

• Practice Gratitude – Practicing gratitude helps us appreciate everything we have, and all that life has to offer rather than noticing what is missing (which is a natural tendency).
• Change Your Mindset – Developing growth- and change-oriented mindsets and replacing negative thoughts will not only cultivate happiness but will also help you be more successful overall.
• Cultivating Happiness – this is a good post to start you thinking about what would make you happy and how to build it.
• Flourish: A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-being – by Martin Seligman

Listen to Your Heart

• Spending time in nature – walking or sitting in nature relaxes us and, if we observe the sights and sounds around us, quiets the mind so that we can become aware of what the body and heart are trying to tell us. Check your city’s or county’s parks and recreation department for local parks. For state parks, use the included link.
• Mindfulness  – Being more present everyday helps us listen to our heart and body as well as a great many other benefits. This is a great article that explains what mindfulness is, how to do it, and how it will benefit you.
• Meditation – Spending 5 to 15 minutes in guided or unguided (timer only) meditation increases our wellbeing beyond being centered, grounded, and in tune with thoughts and feelings.
• Insight Timer App – This app has over 300,000 free guided meditations on many varied topics. There is also a timer for self-guided meditation, music tracks, talks, and the occasional free challenge (1 to 4 weeks of daily guided meditations – usually under 10 minutes – on a specific topic).

Final Thoughts

Like anything worth doing, this journey takes time, soul searching, and experimentation to find what works best. You are worth the time and effort it will take. If you don’t believe that, believe me. I believe in you! Try to make it fun.